Peece Out!

How long is too long for a kid to be on a bathroom break? 30 minutes? Is that too long?

District Mail

More actual emails from actual teachers. Hello....how about spell check, y'all?

+ I can see that alot of learning is going on today....

+ So I will like to advice that we do our research....

+ If you borrowed an easle...

+ She would realy appreciate your support....

+ It shows he has 7 absent in your class...

Lab Rats

The worst thing about subbing for Science is the incredibly annoying, nonstop, grating sound of the lab stools squeaking against the tile floor.

It's enough to drive a person insane. Can't they sit STILL? Is that really too much to ask?

Not Lyin'

The new phrase around these parts is: She be lyin'.

As in: She is lying.

The kids say it nonstop: She be lyin'. He be lyin'. That teacher be lyin'.

Everybody be lyin' around here.

I confiscated a note with this message: SHE BE LION.

Roar.

Teaching Foil

The kids in math class, being the smartasses they are, asked me this: Are you supposed to put the shiny side of the foil on the food, or the dull side? And I didn't know the answer. They are so clever.

So I made them call Reynolds. Here is what the nice lady at Reynolds told us:

There is no difference in which side you use. The difference in the surface of aluminum foil is a result of the manufacturing process and has no bearing on heat retention or reflection.

In case you cared.

See what a great education your tax dollars pay for!

Name Game

I haven't posted lately because I have been proctoring tests and there ain't nothing funny about giving tests. It is incredible dull and boring. The only funny part of testing is seeing the list of all the kids' names in the school.

What is wrong with parents? I am all for unique names, but some people get a little too creative (or they just don't know how to spell).

Preschess. Dyamundz. Jazzmine. Deztini.*

Find some name entertainment here and here until testing ends and the regular subbing fun resumes.

*These names are pronounced as: Precious, Diamonds, Jasmine, and Destiny.